Author(s): Stephen Clarke

Travel

A Frenchman goes into a pub with a giant snail on his shoulder. The barman says, "Wow, where did you find that?" The snail replies "In France, there are loads of them." The French can't see why this would be funny at all - it dares to suggest that they are not at the centre of the universe. Why would the barman be talking to the snail? Surely there can't be anyone better to talk to than a Frenchman? If you have ever found yourself trapped in an airport/train station/traffic jam due to self-righteously striking French employees, or subjected to the withering stare that French waiters seem to reserve especially for the well-intentioned foreigner, or even just attempting the most basic interaction with a French person - this hilarious little guide is just what you need. From how to get served in a St Germain cafe